Saturday, March 27, 2010

I finally figured it out

When I applied to be a bee, one of the questions was why I want to be a bee.

I thought about the kind of answer the committee might want to hear--that I was a very giving person and sincerely wanted to help everyone along with wedding planning. Part of that is true. When I have friends who are getting married, regardless of how close I am to them, I am very eager to share tips and advice and anything that could help them along. I've volunteered to be a DOC for several friends already! So in that sense, I do like to give. But is my main motivation for writing on weddingbee to give back to an audience full of to-be brides? The honest answer is if I could only give one answer, that wouldn't be it.

Then I thought about the intellectual answer that the committee might also like--that I am a journalist or scholarly type who loves words. But as anyone who may stumble across my blog knows, I am not even close to being a great writer. I do have a particular writing style though which is me! But in SATs, vocabulary was not my forte. I am more the geeky math type.

So then, what is it? I was really afraid to consider that maybe I'm an attention seeking whore. Maybe I just want the fame that comes with being an online weddingbee celebrity. Maybe I just love myself so much that I love everyone loving my words. Yes, a lot of that is probably true. But hey, I'm not a narcissist at heart!

Tonight, as I was driving to a Macy's wedding registry event, it finally came to me. Here I am, writing to the void because I don't want any of my wedding guests to read about my wedding, less I ruin any surprises for them. I even  created this brand new blog to avoid writing in my existing xanga blog. But, I desperately want to share my lofty ideas and dreams with friends, strangers, anyone who will listen really, even if they're not my real life everyday friends. would be the perfect outlet for that. I would have a group of friends who understand and can relate to what I'm going through, and yet I don't have to worry about ruining surprises for my wedding guests. I simply wouldn't mention that I write on there. And for the few that find out, hey, they're probably just as crazy as me and it's okay to let them in on any surprises. :)

I wonder if anyone has been in my shoes? Is there a way for me to attract an audience without exposing myself to wedding guests?

Disclaimer: I did leak this new blog site to a few close friends in the beginning, and because of that, there are some entries that I'm still afraid to write about. I'm guessing no one follows anymore though because after the 4-month hiatus, I didn't make any announcements about coming back.


  1. I just stumbled on your blog and I'm really loving it. Just read all your entries at work while looking over my shoulder to make sure my boss doesn't catch

    please keep writing cos i will be reading!!!!when is your wedding?

  2. awww thanks!! i didn't know anybody was reading. :) glad i have a visitor!! my wedding is july 10 (less than 100 days!) are you married yet?