Ugly hot dog shoe

MOH and I went dress shopping today and bumped into my beloved Amanda shoe.

My heart sunk when I saw this super-sized flat hot dog looking excuse for a shoe. And as if it couldn't hurt any more, MOH drove a deep knife through my already broken heart. Sigh. She *hated* the shoe. And I did too, but I tried to spin it in a positive light. Maybe it will look better in your size instead of this sample size 10. Maybe it will look better once dyed. Well, maybe it just ain't the right shoe! I didn't notice this before, but if you compare with the taller version of the shoe, you'll see that this flat version has a much wider open area for the toes. It's so deep in fact that her toes only went halfway through.

Just imagine this:

Disappointed and heartbroken, I went back to the drawing board. Let's call ugly Amanda and the prettier twin (ironically named Pretty) shoe set #1. Below are my other frontrunners. Personally, I am leaning towards shoe set #2 because it comes in silver which is a good color for the lavender BM dresses, and I don't have to go through the hassle of getting them dyed in a color which may not end up looking good. With set #3, I feel the heel heights are slightly too large and the differential between the 2 pairs is not enough. With set #4, the peep and peek a boo holes vary slightly from shoe to shoe so they may not match up exactly. But it might be nice to have each girl wear a different shoe from the same family.

Shoe Set #2

This shoe would be in silver and would not be dyable.

1/2 inch heel height named Palace:

http://www.promshoes.com/silver-prom-shoes/dyeables/palace-silver-4247

2 1/4 inches heel height named Flamingo:

http://www.promshoes.com/silver-prom-shoes/dyeables/flamingo-silver-2812

Shoe Set #3

This shoe would be dyed to match the bridesmaids dress colors.

1 inch heel height named Andie:

http://www.bridalshoes.com/white-wedding-shoes/coloriffics/andie-5763-3528

2 1/2 inches heel height named Tori:

http://www.bridalshoes.com/white-wedding-shoes/coloriffics/tori-5754-3605

Shoe Set #4

These shoes all have "peep toe" or "peek a boo toe"--I think they mean the same thing. They would also be dyed to match the bridesmaids dress colors.

1/2 inch heel height named Kara:

http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/dyeable-shoes/dyeable-flats/kara-1-2--heel.asp

3/4 inch heel height named Dance:

http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/dyeable-shoes/dyeable-peep-toes/dance--3-4--heel.asp

2 inches heel height named Carmen:

http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/dyeable-shoes/carmen-2--heel.asp

2 5/8 inches heel height named Olivia:

http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/dyeable-shoes/dyeable-peep-toes/olivia--2-5-8--heel.asp

Will any of these shoes pass the scrutiny of my MOH, bridesmaids, and our in-person tests? Do any of them pass *your* test?

In search of perfection

Before I got engaged, I told friends that I didn't want an engagement ring. I was not a ring wearer and hated the thought of having to wear a ring every day for the rest of my life. It was enough that I have to wear retainers every night! But as you know, when the search for the perfect ring started, that obsession went on and on for months.

Then when I got engaged, I told my friends how much I dreaded wedding planning and how I just wanted to elope. As I had already mentioned in a previous post, I thought weddings were all the same and boring. Why waste money to throw an event that no one will even treasure or remember? Then, as I delved into the details, I fell in love. I've always been a planner. And so it was fitting that I would love to plan my own wedding. I still think it's true that people may not care nor remember the details of our wedding. But I definitely will and that's what matters most.

But what did I really dread? The dress. In fact, I put it off for a good 7 months. As each month slipped by, I repeated to my friends, I am so not looking forward to dress shopping. #1: I am too fat right now. #2: Why would anybody spend so much money on a dress they're only going to wear once? Well, now that I'm near the end of the dress quest, I must say I was wrong once again. I loved dress shopping. I was driven by the need to find THE dress. It may not be the prettiest nor the most expensive, but it has to be the one and only. And the moment I laid eyes on it on the front page of a wedding store website, I fell in love. I emailed the owner asking which dress that was, but she was smart and asked me to come in for an appointment instead. Since the store was too far away, I ended up browsing through all 8 websites of the brands listed on her website, before I found out the maker and style. Later on, I even went so far as to personally contact 20 or so real-life brides who bought the same dress. Luckily, I loved it in person too.

But alas, I am one of those picky people that even after finding the perfect dress, still needs to try on a hundred other dresses just to be sure. So to this day, I still have 2 more stores to visit before making the final plunge. The same thing happened with the ring, the venue, and just about everything wedding-related. It's ironic that I am actually marrying my FIRST boyfriend!

Is there anyone else out there who's in love with obsession?

Playing dressup for my bridesmaids

Though I definitely have some bridezilla tendencies, I like to think I'm a considerate bride. And hence instead of dragging my bridesmaids all over town with me, I decided to go try on some dresses myself first to narrow down the choices.

And the result? Voila! (please pardon my ugly shoes)

I even went so far as to edit the pics next to my future wedding dress. I won't show the actual wedding dress here because I don't want kyzen8 (or guests) to see it, but imagine one of these pics for each of the dresses above (the actual wedding dress I pick will probably have a sweetheart neckline instead):

Furthermore, I wanted to see what the bridesmaid dress would look like in THE color. Here's a picture of the correct color (lavender) and material (satin) from the same maker (Sophia Tolli):

And so now I have a pretty good idea what the day-of pictures would look like if I pick dress B in that color. :)

In fact, I sent the pictures to my bridesmaids and B was among their top 2 choices. Actually, I have to say, I had my "OMG THIS IS IT" moment with dress B. It was definitely my favorite of the bunch. The corsette lace back (which matches top contender wedding dress) made me look so skinny. I remember telling the sales lady "This is like THE dress, except for the bridesmaid instead of the bride!" Heck, I'm a little jealous of my bridesmaids.

So in all likelihood, B (Sophia Tolli BY2991T) might end up being it. The only thing I wish it had was a real sweetheart neckline (because my future wedding dress will have it unless I change my mind). I entertained the idea of adding a sweetheart to all the dresses, but due to varying boob sizes and logistics of BMs living all over, I've decided to keep the original if we go with it. Only thing that needs alteration is the length which will probably be knee-length or right below the knee.

I'm going to take my bridesmaids to a couple shops before making a final decision. Hopefully they will all look good in B or whatever dress we decide on.

By the way, my mom is so cute. When I sent her the pictures, she forwarded them to my dad and wrote: "look at your daughter, she is so cute!" I'm glad my mom likes the dresses.

Did you have a "this is it" moment with your bridesmaid dresses?

Balancing heights with shoes

Is it borderline or outright bridezilla behavior to want everyone in my bridal party to be a similar height? The dilemma is I'm 5'1", my MOH is 5'5", and the remaining 3 bridesmaids are 5'2", 5'2.25", and 5'2.5". Well, I don't need everyone to be the *exact* same height, but for pretty pictures I'd like us to at least be similar, say +/- 2 inches.

Since MOH is so much taller than the 3 other bridesmaids and myself, I wanted her to wear flats. But I didn't want her to feel too left out from the crowd. So began my internet search for the perfect bridesmaids shoes.

I tried googling "bridesmaids heels different heights" and variations of that search. Turns out some companies make very similar shoes in different heights, but I had to play my own game of memory by scouring hundreds of images in different heel categories and then playing matchup. There were a few friendlier shoe sites that recommended similar shoes that sometimes matched my needs. Finally, I found 2 pairs that might work:

This one here is a 5/8" heel height. But because Colorful Creations measures their heel height differently, in reality it will increase the girl's height by about 1".

http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/dyeable-shoes/dyeable-flats/amanda-5-8--heel.asp

And this one here is the corresponding shoe with 2 1/4" heels (in reality, more like 2.5"):

http://www.dyeableshoestore.com/dyeable-shoe-store/dyeable-shoes/pretty--2-1-4--heel.asp

I am still not 100% satisfied especially with the flat version of the shoe, but there really isn't that much variety for flats unless I want to venture into flip flops or ballet shoes. With these shoes, my MOH would be 5'6" and the other girls would be 5'4.5", 5'4.75", and 5'5". I would probably wear around 3-3.5" heels, putting me between 5'4" and 5'4.5". This meets my +/- 2 inches criteria.

My shoe dilemma brought to mind an interesting revenue idea. Could this be an opportunity to create a specialized bridesmaids shoe company that has various styles with customizable heel heights? Then bridesmaids could potentially end up being the *exact* same height (if they weren't more than 4" difference to begin with!). Would there be enough demand?

Side Note: If I do end up going with these dyable shoes, I'll probably have them custom dyed to match the bridesmaid dresses. But haven't decided for sure yet.

What were your criteria for bridesmaid shoes?

My dream wedding

The benefit of getting married late is having lots of experience under my belt. From college onwards, I've been to 17 weddings in all, was a bridesmaid in 3 and MOH in 2. The pitfall of this much experience though is you can feel jaded when it is your turn. Some weddings were definitely more fun and memorable than others, but in the end, they all had the same elements. To tell you the truth, mine may for the most part fall into the same bucket as all the other weddings. But in order for this planning experience to be fun for me, I desperately wanted something different, something more me.

And so was born this drawing of my perfect wedding ceremony:

I showed it to my close friends and family and they had a good laugh. I really was determined to have a body of water, floating planks for the guests to sit on either side, and for my dad to row me down the aisle in a canoe like this:

I searched literally every single venue in and near bay area and los angeles. Every venue that listed a lake or pond was contacted by phone or email to ask if they had a body of water in which I could have my dream ceremony. I started researching what would be feasible for the planks. I discovered the world of "floating docks" which are used to anchor boats and often times appear in movies:

There were a couple promising companies that quoted me on the order of $5000+ just to rent these babies. I went into talks with a couple venues regarding where the truck could load off these dock pieces. Each single piece is SOOO heavy that the weight of the truck might crush the pathway. But the truck has to be able to drive up right next to the water or else it's just too much lifting work for the guys. The water needs to be the right depth and have the right flooring to be able to anchor the docks. These docks can't be lopsided when guests walk around. We need to be able to place rows of chairs without the legs getting caught. The main issue was liability--whose responsibility would it be if a guest slips and falls into the water?

What is your dream wedding like?

The proposal story backwards

kyzen8 started creating our wedding website which is currently just a picture of the eiffel tower with the words "it started with a promise..." at the bottom and some piano tunes of our favorite songs playing in the background. He spent a lot of time making sure the picture resizes automatically if you change the window size! When I sent the link out, my cousin commented that the website captivated him like a korean drama. What promise, he asked? I thought kyzen8 made up some cheesy words as filler space. But when I asked kyzen8 about it last night, it turns out there is a deeper meaning...

Let me backtrack to the beginning of 2009. As I told you guys already, the proposal was not expected to be a surprise. I did however tell kyzen8 to keep the destination of our March trip a surprise. Of all places, he chose Paris! :) We had the loose diamond but no setting because I couldn't make up my mind. His parents advised him against bringing a loose diamond into Paris for various reasons.

On the night of March 19 (technically March 20), we were riding bikes in the park right in front of the Eiffel tower when we noticed a patch of grass with 2 ducks wandering around. Ducks have a special meaning in our relationship because we fed them bread on my first trip to Atlanta. And seeing a pair is like seeing the 2 of us. So he suggested stopping to check out the ducks and admire the eiffel tower. We saw the light show that happens every night at 1am. And then immediately afterwards, he started talking about how many different countries we've traveled to together. Smelling something fishy, I exclaimed "Are you going to p now??" (<-- way to ruin the moment!). He said "maybe" with a smile, got down on one knee, and proposed to me with--surprise!--a heart ring from Tiffany's. :)

I was thinking to myself, "How come there's a hole in the heart?" But he quickly explained, "The hole signifies we need to travel more, learn more, and love more." Sigh, I'm sad he didn't replace one of those with "eat more."

And alas, I found out last night that he calls this the promise ring. We had a slight disagreement because I thought promise ring was what a boyfriend gave a girlfriend if he wasn't ready to propose yet but wanted her to know he would in the future. So then wouldn't it mean he didn't actually propose to me in Paris? (Just like he didn't actually ask me to be his girlfriend on 3/16/03?). Now I'm left wondering whether that was the day we actually got engaged! I think so though because he did ask "Will you marry me?" to which I shyly squeeled "yes" with a slight intonation at the end, almost as if asking a question. Oh by the way, we also disagree about whether the man who witnessed our proposal from a bench in the park was homeless or not.

What does a promise ring mean to you?

The diamond

My parents had long ago prepared 3 diamonds for each of the 3 kids. When I told my mom the P was near, she offered the diamond to kyzen8, but he gracefully declined because he wanted to buy it himself. Not wanting to disappoint, kyzen8 showed me some choices on the blue nile site and asked for my input. At that point, I was more of a newbie than he was. He already knew the 4 Cs and more. We started narrowing down our choices. Pink diamond? Too expensive. Side diamonds? Too gaudy. And then I found pricescope.com, the weddingbee equivalent of the diamond world. Unfortunately for kyzen8, I got a little carried away (aka obsessed). But at this point, he already got me involved and there was no turning back. I was going to pick out the perfect diamond with the perfect setting.

My criteria were 1.5+ size, hearts&arrows cut, D color, VS2+ clarity. Medium blue fluorescence was acceptable. After scouring blue nile, goodoldgold, exceldiamonds, and numerous other sites for weeks, it came down to 2 diamonds from blue nile. They both looked excellent on paper. How would I pick? Heck, just buy both of them! And that's what we did. The only major difference between these two is the size (1.61 on the left vs 1.69 on the right) and price. Armed with a new hearts and arrows viewer and a complete diamond toolkit, I set out to take pictures of both diamonds to show the pricescoper experts and compare:

Actual image top down. You can see the arrows:


Hearts from the H&A viewer:


Arrows from the H&A viewer:


Asset/ideal scope image:


Honestly, I couldn't tell much of a difference with my bare naked eye when the diamonds were side by side. I took the babies inside, outside, bright sunlight, shadows, home depot (<-- crazy girl walking around with diamonds), you name it. They both shined like crazy!

I felt emotionally attached to the 1.61 because it had lots of 1s and 8s in its price (I was born on the 18th in 81, and 18 is a good number in Chinese culture). Also, 1.61 had a mirrored inclusion that reflected all the way around when you look into the diamond at a specific angle with a magnifier. In the diamond world, this was a bad quality to have. But it reminded me of the mole I have to the left of my mouth. It also didn't hurt that it was slightly cheaper. So yes, 1.61 seemed like the reasonable choice.

But then we took the 2 diamonds to an appraisor in Los Angeles. Within the first 15 minutes, he compared the diamonds side by side. The 1.69 won out with respect to clarity (though both graded at VS2, he said the 1.69 was more like a VS1, and that reflector inclusion was confirmed to be "bad"). 1.69 also won out in color and had less fluorescence (medium blue is actually not a bad quality at all but on paper, less is better).

Since we were paying a lot of money for these diamonds, I wanted the best bang for the buck. I figured I wouldn't be admiring the inclusion every day anyway, and it's not like I needed that special birthmark for identity purposes. Both diamonds have blue nile inscriptions and their numbers etched into the girdle anyway.

And so we picked the 1.69!